As a college senior, it is fascinating how things start to come full circle. In my final months here at Auburn University I have seen dozens of people that I have not seen since I was a freshman. Where have they been all four years of college?
The tragedy of this is that the answer is, they were right here the whole time.
Coming full circle makes one think back to the beginning. When I look back at my time in college, I am taken on a rollercoaster ride of emotions. The truth is, I actually begin grieving for things that I have not lost yet but I expect to lose someday.
I have always had this nasty character trait. I grieved the loss of grandparents long before they passed away, I have shed tears over the deaths of some who are still alive and well. I do not know why I do this, but I have begun to do that with one of my greatest loves, Auburn University.
As the semester draws to a close, I grieve for this place I call home and how much it has meant to me over the years.
I wish I could tell my freshman self to relax and quit stressing and enjoy the ride because it will not last long. I wish I could tell him to get involved sooner, to pick his major sooner, and to pick his friends sooner.
I wish I could tell my freshman self to not go home on the weekends as often as he did. I wish I could tell him to not be so scared of public speaking or passing math. I wish I could tell him that everything will be okay.
I wish I could tell him to exercise more and to eat healthier. I also wish I could tell him to quit eating at those restaurant chains and enjoy the unique cuisine that Auburn, Alabama has to offer. My personal favorite is the Amsterdam Café with its outdoor seating and incredible fries.
I wish I could tell him to attend church at Lakeview Baptist Church sooner rather later. I wish I could tell him to apply to be an Involvement Ambassador sooner than he did. I wish I could tell him to host monthly dinner parties and invest in his friendships more than he did.
Why do I grieve for my life in Auburn? Because it has been so good, and it is so good. It is not that I did not get what I wanted in the end, it’s that I waited so long to go out and get it.
Fear held me back, I held myself back. I held onto the past so tightly that I did not embrace the future, the better future, until later in my college career. So now, as I hold onto the past even tighter, may that realization give me hope for a better future.
Therefore, my final wish for my freshman self is to not fear the future. Though change is scary and something I actively rebel against with clenched fists and white knuckles. I wish for my freshman self to embrace change and the wonderful possibilities and opportunities it may afford us.
It certainly worked well for us in the past. Maybe, just maybe, it will work well for us in the future. Life has a way of coming full circle all on its own.